CHRISTMAS JOKE PAGE

What does a nearsighted Christmas gingerbread cookie use for eyes?
“Contact raisins”


How does the holiday Christmas train conductor sneeze?
“Ahhhh choo-choo!”


What does Santa Clause lose every time he stands up?
“His lap”


Who sings “Love Me Tender“ and makes Christmas toys?
“Santa‘s little Elvis”


Why do we need the reindeer?
“It makes the little flowers grow”


What’s the most popular wine at Christmas?
“Do I have to eat my Brussels Sprouts?”


What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
“Santa likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.”


What does Mrs. Clause get when she uses soap and water on the stove?
“Foam on the range”


What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
“Nothing, you just run away!”


What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
“Have an ice day.”


Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut open until Christmas.


Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas eve?
“Because it soots him so well.”


What kind of ears does a Holiday train engine have?
“Engineers”


How is Santa Claus like a beatnik?
“Because he doesn’t shave and just works one day a year.”
Merry Christmas joke telling!


For a fun Christmas activity try to memorize your favourite Christmas joke. Then ask an acquaintance for the correct Christmas punch line of the Christmas joke.